Am I going to die soon? Should I get pregnant? Will my married lover get divorced and be with me?
As a Tarot reader and psychic, these are questions that clients ask when they consult me. People are curious, and when we’re caught in the throes of a dramatic life situation or in the midst of a low point, it can seem like the best option to reach outside of yourself for answers.
It raises quite an ethical dilemma when clients ask for these types of readings. For many reasons, I generally choose not to read on these topics because they’re not effective with Tarot. Let’s look at why.
When Will My Life End?
Whether our death is karmically predetermined or not, no human needs to know when they will die. It’s an age-old concern, and I understand the morbid fascination with it, but I’ve met clients who have been told their supposed time of death and tend to become obsessed with their “ticking clock.” People think knowing their lifespan will help them live each day as if it were their last. But the truth is, we will have good and bad days no matter how much time we have left.
For clients who are struggling with this information, I’ve spent a lot of time healing the damage and restoring their sense of control over their lives. No divination system can predict when you—or someone else—is going to die. Don’t ask a reader this question for your own sake, and don’t try it yourself. It won’t make you more conscious at the moment or happier if you think you know when your time is going to come.
Questions About Having A Baby
It usually isn’t a problem if a client generally asks for guidance about having a baby. But some questions are just inappropriate for a given situation. Let’s look at a couple of examples.
Emma was a new client, and I was her first experience with a psychic. She wanted to know if she should have a baby with her husband, so I asked her a few questions. One of those questions was: Why had she chosen this time to consult a psychic?
“I don’t know, really,” she said. “I just feel my marriage needs something, and my husband will leave if I don’t say yes.”
Her question indicated to me that she didn’t want to make a decision herself and that she wanted definite and preordained answers to her problems. The Tarot is available for guidance; therefore, it’s the path to the solution, not the solution itself. Her relationship with her husband and their miscommunication about children was clearly the real problem. Though I couldn’t answer her question directly, I was happy to offer her a reading to work through the underlying issues in her relationship.
By contrast, a long-term client of mine came to me very troubled about a decision to carry through with a pregnancy or not.
Lorna was 40, single, and though she had a good job, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be a single mom. She had read cards for herself a few times about the situation, but obviously, she wasn’t objective enough to get a clear answer (which is a common mistake when reading for yourself).
I told her, “I can’t ask this question for you. You must rely on your higher self and inner authority to make this decision. However, we can read about what this situation has to offer you in terms of soul growth.”
Because I knew Lorna, I understood she wasn’t looking to give up her authority. She was more than willing to do the work to get to the core of the issue. So we did the 10-card Inner Work spread. Unsurprisingly, the cards that described the evolutionary possibilities were all about personal authority, trusting the higher self, and exploring heartbreak—the Emperor, the High Priestess, and the Three of Swords.
After the reading, Lorna felt more empowered. It helped her realize that she was heartbroken about not having a partner and the prospect of raising a child by herself. With this clarity, she could make the right decision according to her terms.
Like Lorna, you must make these decisions with your free will and inner authority. This doesn’t mean that we don’t help you along the way, but the final answer must be your own.
Questions about Relationship
Relationship questions form the bulk of what people ask intuitives about. This is fine, and we’re happy to help. However, I personally won’t read for questions like “Will he leave his wife for me?” or “Is she cheating?”
If you have a married lover, you need to look at the dynamics of the relationship and why your soul has chosen this particular experience. I’d be happy to read cards about this for a client—but the intention is not to try and predict their lover’s actions. That’s about their free will, and I can’t predict that.
If you think your partner is cheating on you, a far more effective strategy is to ask them! If you don’t think your partner will be honest, you have to take a hard look at yourself, your trust issues, or your partner’s history. At some point, if something doesn’t feel right, but you don’t have a definitive answer as to whether they’re cheating or not, you should listen and explore these feelings. But Tarot won’t resolve these feelings for you.
As souls inhabiting human bodies, we are going to have human experiences! Unfortunately, these experiences are out of our control because that’s what life is, and we can only ever control ourselves and our own actions. Psychics can help you work through past life influences and self-worth issues or help you see what you need to cultivate or let go of. But just because your situation is overwhelming, psychics can’t take responsibility for your life choices.
Destiny vs. Free Will
Ultimately, no one knows the amount of fate or free will available to us. Personally, I think that evolutionary themes and karmic agreements are chosen before birth. However, I also believe that we have tremendous amounts of freedom as to how and if those themes and agreements are honored and expressed. Despite destiny, we are still the spiritual authority of our own lives.
As an advisor, I am absolutely committed to helping my clients see themselves and situations more clearly. Unfortunately, life is going to present us with choices where we must trust only ourselves to make the right decision – no one else – and dive in without knowing what the outcome will be.
The Tarot is wonderful for receiving guidance and at times answers, but the goal is to learn about your inner self, not solve all your life problems. Seek guidance, but seek the guidance for the deeper issue, not just a recent issue that needs an answer.